Dear my friend, ; loss and grief

Dear my friend;

It alarmed me.

Your words of grief, pain, and confusion posted on the internet for everyone to see. And believe me, heard it. Messages and icons that raised red flags of possible thoughts of suicide. I heard it loud and clear. My heart ached and wanted to reach out to you that moment, but I did not know what to say.

Behind closed doors, I cried and prayed in my room for you, and realized how powerless I was in this situation.  You suffered a sudden loss: a death of a loved one, a death of someone irreplaceable, a death of a father.

I never experienced such a tragic loss before, so I felt I had no basis to console you. I didn’t want to say empty and meaningless words: “Are you alright?”, “Don’t worry”, “I’m sorry for your loss”. I felt frustrated.  I was in a bind. A friend is suffering  and yet I can’t find a way to bear the burden for them.

Oh God help her. I can’t but I know you can. You Father, did lose someone important to you.  Your son, Your only son Jesus died in the cross for a people who don’t even deserve it. And yet he died, bearing all our sin, curses and shame–He died for her too. And You understand her pain, please be with her. Comfort her. Don’t let her go.

But I learned that it was not my burden to bear. God already bore it for her.

It was around noontime when I finally gathered my thoughts and call, but you messaged me before I started dialing your number: “Kristine, can I call you?” “Yes of course.”

And you were thinking of the same thing at the same time, a God orchestrated moment. I walked out the cafe I was in at that time, pacing back and forth with my phone in hand, praying.

God give me the words to say. Words of healing, words of encouragement, words of wisdom.Your words not mine.

Then my phone rang and I quickly picked it up. You cried as you spoke, and I listened. When I had the opportunity to speak, I said:

“I don’t know how to comfort you but, I know who can. God’s with you and he understands your pain, He is the father to the fatherless. Don’t hold it in, cry it out in prayer and take your time to heal the pain inside. Just be still and know you’re not alone, that you have God in your side and I’ll be here if you need a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Can I pray for you?”

“Yeah sure.”
I felt peace after praying for you.

But it was just a day. After that evening, another day comes. And another, and another….

Days passed, and everyday God continued to show you His faithfulness. Your relationship with Him and with the other girls grew stronger. Even though you do have outbursts of missing and longing for your father, you point back to your Heavenly father who became real to you in this time of mourning.

Because my friend, this is just a season:

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

Stay encouraged. You are not alone.

Love you,



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